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Suggestions For Writing a Dear Birth Mom letter.

Put yourself in a birth parents' shoes.

Here are a series of questions that might help.  Be creative.  If writing is not your strong suit, then simply answer the questions in an easy to read way.

Suggestions:

1.  Type this onto your computer so you can customize it for different birth parents.

2.  If you do not have a computer remember to photo copy your Dear Birth Mom letter before you send it.  That way you can recopy later.

3.  Address the letter to a family that is grieving.  Some of us may know very well what they are going through.  Shock, heartbreak, decisions, anger, confusion....

4.  Lovingly share your concerns for their emotional healing.  Let them know of Jesus' love through your prayers and openness.

5.  Decide ahead how much contact between you and birth parents will work for you.

More information about open or confidential contact

6.  Let them know that you are experienced with whatever medical concerns are known. Special note:  This is a very important part of the dear birth mom letter.  Your experiences or a story about the birth of your special needs child, may be very touching to a birth parent. In all that we share we want to glorify our Lord, but be real about your fears, shock, coping skills, and of course, healing.    If you are not experienced, then at least become educated!  Read NATHHAN articles and contact other NATHHAN parents to talk about the disability.

7.  Pictures?  A picture speaks a thousand words.  At the office one to attach to your profile is nice.

8.  Album?  Save the little album you put together for birth parents.  Include 6 or so pictures with lots of neatly written captions.  Use color and an sweet presentation.  It speaks careful, concern for them and baby. Make up several at once to save time later.

POSSIBLE QUESTIONS TO ANSWER

How old are you?

Where do you live?   What is your home like?   What is the weather like?

What are the ages of your children, special needs (briefly!), hobbies and interests?

Do you love Jesus and where do you attend church or home church?

Are there Grandma's and Grandpa's Uncles and Aunts?

What are holidays like?

Why have you chosen special needs adoption?

Express your admiration for their choosing life for their baby.  Birth parents need assurance that their baby is a precious blessing to you. Their loving memory of their baby in their hearts will be further carried out in your life with little him or her.

Special note:  If a baby is not expected to live very long or life is tenuous, assure them that they will be contacted when their baby goes to be with Jesus if they wish to know.  This can be the case for babies born with more severe special needs and is a part of the healing for birth parents and adoptive parents.

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