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NEW part of the CHASK Waiting Children page: This page lists children we have been contacted about by agencies...

Children Waiting For Families

Children in CHASK's Private Adoption Referral Program. 

 Jaya needs a strong loving home

     Jaya is a lively, 11-year-old, African-American girl. She appears quiet when first meeting new people, but easily warms up once she is comfortable and gets to know you.  Jaya can sometimes be bossy with her peers, but she does get along with most children, both younger and older.  Her favorite activities are cheerleading, soccer, riding her bicycle, swimming, and watching television.  One of her favorite shows is Tyler Perry's, "House of Payne."  She also enjoys Tyler Perry's "Medea" plays and films.  Jaya would like sewing and swimming lessons.  Currently, she participates on a local cheerleading team.  She enjoys the companionship of her teammates, traveling to competitions, and never misses a practice if she can help it.  Her favorite color is light pink. She loves Beyonce and Jordan Sparks.  Her favorite song is "Tattoo."  She loves math.  If asked to describe herself, she would say, "I am cool and fun."

Jaya was placed with our family in May 2006 with a (fraternal) twin sibling who returned to foster care.  The adoption was finalized in December 2006.  Sadly, our family is not the best place for Jaya to reach the potential she has.  She has struggled with depression.  There are several reasons for this. One which is a personality clash between Jaya and our two older daughters.  She consistently feels she must compete for attention.  This has caused most of her behavior issues in our home. She gets along best with male and younger siblings.  Indeed, she can be quite nurturing, loving, and helpful with the younger children.  We don't feel our family structure best suits Jaya's needs.

Jaya has a diagnoses of PTSD from trauma in her birth home.  She has received counseling for this, but has difficulty trusting social workers and therapists. She can be likable, polite, and charming.  At times, she can be difficult to get along with when upset, tired, or angry.  Jaya presents mild behavioral issues such as tantrums and yelling, and manipulation.  She has thrown clothing and broken her glasses when angry.  Like many kids, she can be dishonest if she fears getting into trouble.  She is learning to take responsibility and is more acceptable of consequences than in the past.  We had one incident of stealing, but this was resolved.  Jaya was required to repay what she owed, and spoke to a police officer about possible consequences.  She has not done this since. She skipped school once, but received detention.  The teacher and counselor report no behavioral issues.  She receives good grades and does homework without prompting.  Jaya is willingly helpful to adults.  She enjoys doing dishes, vacuuming, and will clean her room before school.  Jaya has made tremendous progress since her arrival.  She has worked hard to improve her behavior and is more willing to accept the consequences of her actions.  She does apologize for her behavior after she's had the opportunity to reflect.  Positive reinforcement works for Jaya far more than negative consequences.  Jaya has struggled with weight gain since her depression (also a result of trauma related to food).  Despite this, she is very active.  She is currently undergoing an evaluation for apnea.  She suffers from childhood enuresis (possibly related to apnea).

We feel Jaya would benefit most from a calm, structured, Christian environment which provides consistency.  She would thrive in a family structure where she is the oldest or youngest child, or siblings are separated by several years.  She has done well in two-parent households, but a single mother would work well for her, too.  A strong, experienced, no-nonsense mother-figure would be best for Jaya because she respects this most.  She's very smart and perceptive, and reads people very well.  We care deeply for Jaya and want the best for her.  We desire Jaya continue to be raised in a Christian faith.  Please contact us if you feel you might provide Jaya with a loving, supportive environment that she will thrive in.  We look forward to hearing from you and speaking to you. Please e-mail at kkbbei@yahoo.com. 

 
Can you be Matthew's forever family?  

 Matthew is 12 years old, and was adopted into our family in July 2007.  Matthew hasn’t seen his birth mother since he was very young.  He was raised by 3 of his older biological brothers, being passed around between them, until he entered foster care.  While in foster care, he was moved twice before coming to live with us.

 Matthew is very quiet, especially around adults.  He is quite likeable and polite, with a winning smile.  Matthew has made a lot of progress since coming into our family.  He now works hard to apply himself to his schoolwork, and has really come a long way in learning to complete his chores.  Matthew has even found that he likes to mow the yard, which he is very good at.  He loves football, riding his bike, and playing with his K’Nex set. 

The main reason we have decided to find a new home for Matthew is that he has consistently physically hurt our two younger children (who are only 3 years old).  He needs constant supervision when he is around young children.  He is very sneaky in the way he will hurt them, and is a very convincing liar -- this is why it took us so long to discover this behavior.

 The other behaviors that are difficult for us to manage is that he chronically lies about everything.  You simply cannot believe anything he says at all, whether good nor bad- we have learned this the hard way.  He is also hostile toward me (Mom), though he doesn’t rage, rather he will do things behind my back to hurt me—which includes harming our younger children.  We believe he has RAD, as he has all but two of the typical symptoms.  The two RAD behaviors that he has not displayed are hyperactivity, and he does not sexually act out.  It is quite possible that he was exposed to drugs or alcohol in the womb, though there is no history on either birth parent as they were illegal immigrants from Mexico (Matthew is an American citizen).

 We do feel that Matthew has a lot of potential.  We do care about him and truly love him.  We are terribly grieved to have to make this decision.  My husband travels frequently for business, and this makes adequately supervising Matthew much more difficult.  It has become clear to us that we cannot keep our youngest children safe with him in the home.

 We feel that Matthew would do best in a Christian home with a strong father-figure influence, and no young children who would be vulnerable to him.  It is vitally important that this family know about RAD, and how to cope with a RAD child.

 If you are interested in knowing more about Matthew, please contact us at cnck99@gmail.com

Samuel needs a special forever family...We would like to tell you about our son, Samuel who turned 6 in January 2008.  We adopted Samuel at birth.  Samuel had tremors at birth that are due to his birthmom’s cocaine use.  He was a fussy baby, but we weren’t too alarmed by that because we figured it was to be expected as he experienced withdrawal symptoms from the cocaine.  At about 8 months old, we noticed that Samuel was not using his right hand to play.  We took him to the doctor and asked if it was possible that Samuel had had a stroke.  We found out that Samuel has a condition known as schizencephaly.  Schizencephaly is an extremely rare developmental birth defect characterized by abnormal slits, or clefts, in the cerebral hemispheres of the brain..    More information can be found on the following web page:   http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/schizencephaly/schizencephaly.htm

 Parts of Samuel’s frontal, temporal, and parietal lobes are missing on the left side of his brain.  We were told that he would never walk or talk.  God has been so good, and Samuel can walk, in fact, he runs!  He also talks, but he receives speech therapy.  The only visible part of his disability is that he doesn’t have much use of his right hand.  It is barely obvious as he can do what most 6 year old boys can do.  Samuel loves to ride his tricycle, jump on the trampoline, play games, and play with cars.  He likes to sit on our laps and cuddle.  He enjoys helping cook or does other things with Mommy in the kitchen.  He is a loving and helpful boy.
 
The main problem that we are having is that the damage to Samuel’s frontal lobe has affected his ability to control his emotions.  He often starts crying immediately when something doesn’t work out the way he thinks that it should.  It is very difficult, if not impossible, to reason with him when he gets that way.  He also has an anger problem.   He has repeatedly hit us in his outburst of anger, and he has been progressing to more dangerous forms of attack.  He lacks remorse after these outbursts.   We have one child younger than Samuel and one child with autism a year older than Samuel, and he particularly enjoys provoking those 2 children.  He tends to provoke those who are the defenseless ones.  We think he should be the youngest child in a family with the other children being much older than he is.  He needs a lot of one on one attention.  He also needs to understand the boundaries that are given to him, and he needs consistency.   
 
This is the most painful and difficult decision we have ever had to make.  We truly love Samuel so much and want only his best.   We would love for Samuel to receive the help that he needs to lead as normal as a life as possible.   We desire that he be raised in a Christian home.   We would gladly give more information to any family who would like to contact us. 

We can be contacted by email at:  romans8-28@embarqmail.com