Ryckman Family

Andrew was born just after midnight on his Dad's 39th birthday. His birth was uneventful. Neither of us noticed anything unusual about him at that point, but two hours later, after John had headed home from the hospital and I was settling in for some sleep, our doctor came in and gently let me know that they suspected Andrew of having Downs Syndrome. It had never crossed my mind that any of our children would ever be born with a disability of any type. My response to the doctor was, "If the Lord wanted to give us a little son who needed lots of extra love and attention, He sent him to the right place."

The morning after Andrew was born, however, the Lord brought me face to face with 3 very ugly attitudes and misconceptions I'd had all my life.

1.) I never realized I'd always looked at people with handicaps (especially mental ones) as on a different plane from the rest of us. The LORD makes it very clear in His Word that every one of us is created in the image of God. Every one of us is made for a purpose. It is such a relief to realize that God has designed each one of us, including our children with special needs, just the way we are. People with handicaps are not handicapped people, but rather people who just happen to have a handicap.

2.) As a result of my ingrained prejudices, my love for Andrew that first morning was a lesser type of love than that for the rest of our children. I knew it was so wrong. The Lord was doing some heavy duty cleaning in my life through our wee son. He showed me my heart, "deceitful, and desperately wicked". I asked Him to love Andrew through me. He then gave me such a love for and joy in our precious child, I couldn't believe the difference! He gently lead me along to see that my love for each of our children is so inadequate, so human and variable, that not only do I need the Lord to love Andrew through me, but each of the others as well.

3.) The third lesson the Lord taught me that morning was one of "ownership". Because of the effects of DS on Andrew's facial features, his family resemblance was different than the other children. This made him seem more of a gift baby from the Lord we were responsible to raise for Him. Then it hit me that each of our children is the Lord's stewardship to us as parents. None of them are really our own, they all belong to Him. As such all must be treated with great care and respect. These were the first lessons the Lord taught me through Andrew in the wee hours of the morning on Andrew's birthday. Once the Lord had dealt with me in these three areas I was able to "change gears" and help others "change gears" as we broke the news to them.

Talking With Family and Friends.....

When Andrew was first born, we were very open with family and friends about his situation. This made it a lot easier for them to ask us questions, and for them to accept Andrew just the way he is.

We have never been ashamed of our son. He was placed in our family by design - not ours, but the Lord's. And we wouldn't have it any other way!

As Andrew has grown and developed we have come to realize that children with disabilities are not slow, as some people perceive them. No, they are fighters. They have to work HARD to achieve what so many of us take for granted.